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The Highly Valued Leader Podcast - Clarifying Vision

Episode 36 – My Racist Behaviour (and what I’m doing about it)

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Episode 36 - My Racist Behaviour (and what I'm doing about it)

In this episode, I address unintentional racist behavior and engage in an open conversation about it, with the aim of inspiring reflection and fostering awareness among listeners.

Amid the ongoing discourse surrounding systemic racism sparked by tragic events, I discuss my personal journey of recognizing my own unintentional racist actions.

The episode touches on the importance of acknowledging such behavior, learning from it, and striving to make positive changes. This episode shifts the focus from career-related topics to relationships, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and our connections with others in tackling systemic racism.

If you’re looking for a specific freebie or tool mentioned in this podcast, you can visit to access additional free training tools designed to help you become a highly valued leader.

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Hello, everyone. How are you today? I just want to give you a heads up that this podcast is not going to be about career. I have some great guests lined up this month. Things I’ve already recorded that I want to bring to you about career and I’m very excited about those things. But I need to pause and talk about what’s going on in the world right now. 

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. And I have to say that for me, it’s been a combination of horror and beauty. It’s kind of a beautiful thing triggered by this horrific thing. And the horrific thing is the tragic death of George Floyd, who was not the first unjustly murdered black man or woman of color. And it’s been something that has shocked the world. And I don’t know why. It’s just shocking the world right now. The beautiful part of this is that it is shocking the world. 

It is sparking protests around the world, not just by black people, but by people of all colors, including white people. It sparked a real dialogue about racism and white privilege, and what that really means to the greater white population of people who have been saying all along, Look, I’m not racist. But realizing that we’re doing a lot of racist things, it sparked a dialogue about the reality of being black, or of being an indigenous person. I’m Canadian, we don’t have the same black history as our American neighbors. But we have our own crap that we’re dealing with. 

So one, I will say that just because we’re not American doesn’t mean that there isn’t racism here for all people of color, including black people, including how we treat our own indigenous people, and all people of color. As a ‘white’ person, which I’ll talk about later on in the podcast, the question I’m asking myself right now is what is the right thing to do? These protests are a beautiful thing because they keep going and the more they keep going, the more people are questioning themselves. 

How can you not be moved by what’s going on right now? It is making me open my eyes. And without being disrespectful to the movement that’s going on right now, I want to say that it reminds me a lot of what happened to me and what was sparked by Harvey Weinstein. This random guy was not the first man in power to oppress a woman. Again, it wasn’t a new thing that was going on. It was just the last thing, the big thing that was made into an example of the entire system of oppression. 

In my case, too, was women who were oppressed and men were the oppressors even though they didn’t know that they were being oppressed, or some men did know. But a lot of men didn’t know that they were being oppressors. Most of them were just taking advantage of the privilege of being a man without knowing any better. With what’s happening with the Black Lives Matter Movement, as a white person, I am the unwitting oppressor in this case. Obviously, what’s going on with the Black Lives Matter Movement is much more powerful than the Me Too Movement. I don’t want to discredit the Me Too Movement because as a woman, it’s important to me. 

But what’s happening right now is much more powerful because, with people of color, people are actually dying. The system is rigged against people of color, much more so than it’s rigged against women. The stakes with what’s going on right now are way higher than it was in Me Too. And it’s important that we all take this really seriously. Everyone’s going to take it seriously in their own way. But now that our eyes are opened, the question is, what are you going to do to keep them open? 

One of the things I really appreciate is a lot of people are just blowing it right now. I might be blowing it right now, too. But I see a lot of really influential people blowing it. I follow people. I respect white people and black people, but mostly white people. And what’s happening is the minute someone blows it or says the wrong thing, or whatever, people jump all over them. 

I think what’s good about that, in a lot of ways, is that those very influential people whom a lot of people respected, are figuring it out. They get jumped all over. And they’re like, Wait a minute, I’m a good person. Oh, my God, I’m not. I don’t understand. And they immediately go about resetting their thinking. I don’t even care why they’re doing it. Because they want to protect their fan base, because they want to protect their business, I don’t care. 

The thing is, they want to create change, and they have the power of influence. They are creating that change. They are creating that voice to help other white people reset their own thinking. So I really appreciate that. I don’t care that they said the wrong thing last week. What are they saying this week? That’s what matters to me. Because that’s helping me reflect on what I can do differently. And it would be really easy for me to just say I feel really bad about what’s going on. 

I could just engage in some dialogue, I could vilify the police and other racists, and I could verify what the President of the United States is doing right now. And then I could just go back to my white privilege life. That could be what I could do. I have done that before. Because you know why I had the choice to do that? That’s the privilege of being white. I can say, those other people are really bad, and then go back to my life, and not have to worry about it, because I’m a white person. But this time, it’s different. 

This time, I’m deciding to stop and take a serious look at racism, what it is, and how I’ve been contributing to it. I want to listen to the real lives and the real challenges that black people face. I don’t care how uncomfortable it’s going to make me. I want to change my perspective. And I want to change how I show up in the world and what I think is acceptable for me in my own life, in my own community, by the choices that I make every day. 

What I’ve learned so far is that it doesn’t matter that I’m not a racist. I do racist things. I am complicit in the problem of racism. And I was actually going to call this podcast, How I Deal with My Unconscious Bias. But that term, unconscious bias is just kind of a nice way to say, I’ve been doing racist things. And so I decided just to say, Look, I have racist behavior. This is how I’m dealing with it. Now I’m going to cut myself a little slack here and say it’s unintentional racist behavior, kind of, but it’s still racist behavior. 

I feel like calling it anything else, like unconscious bias, really masks the severity of what I’ve been doing. And calling it finding nicer, softer, more palatable ways to say things is what I’ve been doing all my life. That’s what we do in corporate, we say things so that people can hear them. And that’s a nice thing to do, it softens the blow. It’s more important that people hear what you’re saying, they get turned off by what you’re saying. I get that. But in this case, I feel like the terminology, unconscious bias, almost lets me off the hook. 

I was watching CNN the other day and there was an interview with Robin DiAngelo. She wrote the book, White Fragility. I haven’t read the book yet, but it’s on my list. I heard her say something that really resonated with me. And it was really talking about why white people have avoided this conversation so far. Because we feel guilty about it, it’s hard to have the conversation because it brings up all these feelings of guilt, and shame around what’s been going on. 

What she said was, that it’s not totally the average white person’s fault that they have these racist behaviors. The society that I live in, in many ways, has conditioned me to be like this. It’s like, I remember, I haven’t watched it in years, but Clockwork Orange, where they have a guy sitting in front of his screen, and they have his eyes open with the toothpicks, and everything. It’s like our society has conditioned us to have this bias towards white people and these unintentional racist behaviors. 

So the society I live in has had a large role to play in why I think the way I do, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, and so in some ways that removes the guilt a little bit and allows me to keep my eyes open. Because a lot of time, we close our eyes because we don’t want to feel guilty. But recognizing that this is the way I’ve been conditioned, is a way for me to move past that guilt, and allows me to keep my eyes open. But now that I’ve got my eyes open, it’s my decision with what I do about that. If I close them again, that’s on me. 

Now, for my part, I’ve decided not to close them again. I’ve decided to learn and reflect on what I’ve been doing. That is racist. And then I want to decide how I can do something different. How can I create change not only in myself but in my sphere of influence, which is small? But still, it doesn’t matter how small it is, how can I impact my sphere of influence? Because every person I impact impacts somebody else. 

Let me tell you, it is freaking uncomfortable. The pain of keeping my eyes open is very uncomfortable. Taking actions like the one I’m doing today, even talking about this on a podcast is very uncomfortable for me. But I’ll tell you what, whenever it gets so uncomfortable, that I feel like closing my eyes again, I think of George Floyd, I think of Trayvon Martin, I think of all the unjustly murdered black people in the world, I think of all the missing and murdered indigenous women we have in Canada. And that gives me the strength to push forward to feel uncomfortable and still move forward, anyway. 

Because what those communities are going through is real suffering. My discomfort with reading a book about white supremacy, or watching a documentary is very tolerable in comparison. Every time I feel like closing my eyes, I think of all the people who don’t have the choice to just close their eyes and make it go away. And the number one thing I would say that I do; my number one racist behavior that I am addressing first and foremost, is that I have spent my life avoiding the conversation. 

That is really the biggest racist move. I have other ones and I’m going to share them in this podcast. But as I learn more, I’ll share more. The biggest racist move that I’ve been making is one of avoidance. Avoiding the real conversation about racism on so many levels, just deciding that I’m not a racist because I don’t go out and kill people because of the color of their skin, I don’t call them names because of the color of their skin, I don’t tolerate other people calling them names because of the color of their skin, and I don’t avoid sitting next to someone on a bus because the color of their skin. 

I think because of those things, I’m not a racist. And I think those things are a good start. But there’s more to do. I need to learn about what it’s like to live in the shoes of people of color. But I’ve avoided it. I have avoided learning about it. I don’t watch movies or read books about it. In fact, I purposely avoid them. 

I hadn’t watched any of the Black movies or documentaries that are available to me everywhere on television on Netflix. I didn’t watch 12 Years a Slave or Selma. I didn’t watch them because I said, it’s too hard to watch these people suffering. I don’t like it. I don’t like to watch some black person getting whipped. Or a black person being beaten up because they’re walking across the bridge for their civil rights. I don’t want to watch that. 

I remember when I was a kid, my father let us watch the entire Routes miniseries, the original one. I remember I cried and cried. I was so traumatized by watching that, that I never wanted to feel that way again. It was so hard to watch. I didn’t want to see black people being treated that way. I didn’t want to see that horrible, evil part of humans that can treat someone differently, simply because their skin is tinted a different color. I didn’t want to do that so I didn’t watch movies like that. I didn’t watch documentaries like that. 

It was okay for me to watch a movie like The Help. That was a fun little movie because that was a movie where black people prevailed against white people. And it was done in such a gentle way that it made me feel good. But the truth is that black people very rarely prevail against white people. You might say that there was a black president, and there are many black CEOs. Maybe my cup, when I worked at McDonald’s, at one point, there was a black CEO at my company, a male one, by the way. 

But for every black man or woman in power, there are thousands who are being held back because of the color of their skin. I don’t think that I have ever in my corporate life ever worked with an indigenous person. We don’t want to focus on the bad stuff. We like to focus on the nice stuff, on the good news stories, on the easier stories to watch about the lives of black people and people of color. We like to say, there’s the first black president, isn’t that awesome? And then we go and watch the Game of Thrones. Or the latest HBO thing to watch. 

We throw a blanket over the rest of what’s going on because we’ve focused on these good things. But I’ve decided for me that it’s really time to rip the blanket off the bed. Because that’s honestly what it feels like. It feels like when you’re sleeping really comfortably, all nice and cozy in a nice, warm bed; and then someone just rips the blanket off the bed, and you’re exposed. It’s really uncomfortable. They flip the light switch on, and you’re like, what is happening? And you just want them to turn the light off and give your blanket back. 

What I want to offer you, my friends is that it’s time to get out of bed. In the last 14 days, I’ve been getting out of bed, and here’s what I’ve decided to do. I’ve decided to question myself, open my mind, ask questions of other people, and start getting educated. So the very first thing I did was take the implicit bias test that the Harvard Office offers online. It’s free. I will link to it in the show notes if you want to take it. They have a bunch of different implicit bias tests. I took the one on race. And if you want to get the link, it’s at

What I learned from that test, it’s very cleverly done, by the way, is I have an automatic implicit bias towards European Americans versus African Americans. And that was an eye-opener. I was not happy about that result at all. As I was taking the test, I was like, I knew it. I was like, Holy sh**, I can’t believe this is happening. So that was kind of a gut punch. And I was like, okay, I’m not as unbiased as I thought I was. So then I said, I need to start learning. I need to learn what’s going on here. I need to uncondition myself. 

The very first thing I did was watch the documentary on Netflix called 13th. It’s a very powerful documentary. And what I learned from that documentary, is that slavery still exists in America, and likely in other places around the world, too. But slavery still exists. It’s just now that it’s legitimized through laws and the correctional system of the United States. But slavery is still alive and well and legal in the United States. So I’m not going to get into everything that the documentary said, but I highly recommend you watch it.

I would ask you, can you imagine what you would do if slavery and the historical forum that we all know it to be were still around? Would you actually stand up and do something about it? If you saw someone in chains, being bought and sold into hard labor, would you actually stand up and do something about it? Would you accept that in your society? And a lot of the time, we would say, No, of course, I wouldn’t do that. That’s horrible. That’s horrific. But it’s still happening. 

But now it’s happening by throwing an inordinately large number of black people and people of color in prison and tweaking the system. So it’s not only easier to incarcerate those people, but also, it’s easier to keep them incarcerated. It’s so easy to make so they can’t get out. And then they take those people that they’ve got in prison, and they put them to work, paying them like nothing, pennies per hour, and then selling those services to corporations who make a profit. 

So the correctional system makes a profit, and the corporations make a profit. And we benefit because we pay a lower price, maybe for some of those things. So what I started doing, based on that, was just trying to find out which corporations are using prison labor. And my intention is to either send a note to those companies or stop using those brands. I looked online to see what companies are using them. And then I got a list of companies. This was a 2019 article and one of them was McDonald’s. 

If you know my story, you know that I worked for McDonald’s as the other supplier in the marketing department for 20 years. I was appalled because I know that their supply chain has very strict social responsibility guidelines, not only for our direct suppliers but also for our indirect suppliers. So suppliers of suppliers. And they are very rigorous about going out and sussing out those organizations in terms of the conditions that people need to work in, what people are paid, not to use child labor and all of those things. 

So when I heard that, maybe they’re using prison labor to make the uniforms for McDonald’s employees. I was like, what? Obviously, I still know people at McDonald’s so I sent a note to someone fairly high up in the organization. And I asked the question, are you guys really doing this? Is this for real? And they said, No, we are not doing this. 

So I just want to say to you, take the time to find out, ask questions, send notes, and decide what you want to do. Because if you are buying products from companies who use prison labor, you’re indirectly supporting the systematic slavery of people of color. I know that’s a very hard statement. You need to think about that. You need to think about how you feel about that. You need to find your own place in that, but that’s what I learned from this documentary. And so what I do next is up to me, what you do next is up to you. 

What I decided to do is I’m going to find out what I’m buying, where I’m shopping, and who those people are getting their things from. Just that one thing taught me something about how I can make a difference in my own small community. I have a list of other documentaries and movies to watch and podcasts to listen to and I’m going to. It’s only been two weeks, I have a day job too, but I’m going to systematically work my way through them. And I will put them in the show notes. 

My next one is The Hate U Give. That’s the next movie on my roster. I haven’t watched Michelle Obama’s documentary yet. I haven’t watched Selma the movie, or the documentary. So those are the next ones on my list. And if you have suggestions, and I have other ones on my website, but if you have suggestions, please offer them in the post and leave a comment in the post. The other book I’m reading right now is Me and White Supremacy by Layla Assad. Again, I’ll put that link. I’m only 50 pages in. But it’s really a fantastic book, full of clarity on where my implicit bias is, where they are, and where I’m conditioned to have these biases. 

There are so many good books to read. My next one is going to be White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. And with all of this, what I’ll say to you now is the same thing I do want to talk about career coaching, you don’t need to know all the steps you’re going to take. You don’t need to know right now all the things that you’re going to do, you just need to start somewhere. You just need to know what your next best step is. And that’s going to lead you to another step and then another step, and then another step, and you can make decisions. 

I watched a documentary, and I’ve decided my next best step is to find out which corporations are actually using prison labor. From there, I can decide which companies I’m going to continue using in my life. Those are steps I didn’t know I was going to take until I watched this documentary. That’s how you create change. You don’t need to know all the steps, you just need to take one. I have no idea where I’m going from here. Education is my first step, conversation is another step. Everything I learned, I discuss with my friends who are largely white, another opportunity. But I’m discussing it with my white friends and it’s not a bad thing. 

I was watching Terry Crews on Seth Meyers last night actually. If you don’t know who Terry Crews is, he is a former NFLer, who is now an actor. You’ve probably seen him on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It’s one of my favorite shows. He’s also the host of the talent show, America’s Got Talent. I’ve never watched it but I know he’s the host now. The thing he was talking about when I was watching him on Seth Meyers was this whole Black Lives Matter Movement

If we want to create real change, it’s not just about white people opening their minds to Black Lives Matter, it’s about black people opening up to other black people. It’s about white people opening up with other white people. Again, this reminded me of Me Too. In order to make change, real change on the oppression of women, and misogynistic behaviors going on in the world, but certainly in business; in order to make change, it’s not just men understanding women, but it’s also women helping women. 

Because sometimes, women are the worst to other women. And it’s also men helping other men. Men who are informed to help other men get informed. Because sometimes, in the case of Me Too, it was easier for a man to hear from another man than a man to hear it from a woman. So we need to understand that as white people, in our white communities, we can make change, where we can share what we learn. So I’m not just sitting in my largely white world with only a white viewpoint, I’m learning about the reality of the situation. 

And I’m taking that black point of view the best that I can understand it, and bringing it into my white world. And I’ll tell you, whoever I talk about it with gets uncomfortable because it is uncomfortable. And I have to be okay with that. Because people don’t like to be uncomfortable, even though that’s what we need to do to create change. I do want to say things in a way that people can hear so that they can get there themselves. I don’t want to bully everyone. Bullying rarely works. But I still want to be authentic to myself. 

I’ll give you a personal example of my discussion with my husband this week on this issue. He’s not where I am, he’s not a racist, either. But the discomfort he’s feeling is not making him move, allowing him to move as quickly as I am. Right. The most popular excuses are the ones that I heard from my husband this week are – Why are we just focusing on black people? There are a lot of people suffering in the world. What about the indigenous people in our own community? What about human trafficking? What about all these other things? We can’t solve it all. 

That’s one excuse that I hear. If I can’t fix everything, why would I start fixing anything? It’s too big of a problem. I’m just one person in this small world, I can’t do anything. Those are excuses that we hear. I’m trying to be a good person, isn’t that enough? I’m just nice to everyone I meet, isn’t that enough? And the answer is NO, it’s not enough. To be a good person is not enough. We’ve been good people for a long time. We need to understand. And we need to make choices from that place of understanding. 

So with my husband, it’s about patience. I have to accept him for where he is right now. I have to understand that his pace of change is different than my pace of change. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop having a conversation. I’m going to listen to what’s holding him back, and then understand him and accept him for his pace of change. And maybe my pace of change is going to help accelerate his. Maybe I’ll be able to help him see things that he wouldn’t have seen over time. Maybe my pushing him to watch documentaries is going to change him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not forcing him down on the couch to watch it. I say I’m going to watch this documentary. Do you want to watch it with me? 

I live in a very, very small, very, very white community. There are 3000 people in my town and it’s seasonal. I live in a lake community. I thought there was not going to be a protest in my town and there’s not going to be a march. But what was really great was someone organized a kneeling, like, we all took a knee down by the flag, which is this Central Boulevard in our little town. We all went down to the flag, this giant Canadian flag and we all took a knee for eight minutes. I think for three seconds, it was very powerful. 

It was just a small thing. I said, Hey, hon. Do you want to come down with me? Those are all things that I can do to help my husband see. It’s his choice, whether he sees it or not. I have to accept that. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop having the conversation. Just because it makes my husband uncomfortable does not mean that I need to stop. It doesn’t mean I have to stop with anyone, not even my friends. It’s the same thing. I think I’m at risk of stopping being invited to dinner parties. I don’t care. I need to not bully people. But I can still speak my mind, share my insights, and encourage action. 

That’s the same thing in terms of just speaking out on this podcast, or in anything. I wrote an article this week on LinkedIn. It’s the same with being vulnerable to the fact that I may be saying things that are still implicitly racist. Even now, as I’m talking, I may learn a few months from now that everything I’m saying right now was super naive. Someone might get mad at me, or someone might tell me that this is such a white privilege point of view. And I’m okay with that. Of course, it is. That’s all I can see right now. I am trying to learn. 

So you know what, tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me why it is, and tell me what you would suggest. And I can decide I can listen to everybody and decide what I’m going to do for myself. The key thing for me is don’t take it personally. Of course, I don’t understand. Of course, you don’t understand. I don’t care how many books I end up reading, how many documentaries I watch, or how many podcasts I listen to. I will never understand what it feels like to be a black or indigenous person of color. 

I do want to say though, that I have a sense of it. I want to share my story with you. And this is a story that I very rarely share with anyone and I don’t think I would have shared this story with you if what happened to George Floyd didn’t happen. So here’s my story… 

My family came here from Turkey in 1965. I was born in Canada in 1970. My name was not at that time, Mel Savage. My name is Meltem Ozdemir. It’s a very common Turkish name. Obviously, not a very Canadian name. My family is Muslim, not practicing, like a Catholic family that only goes to church on Easter and Christmas. That’s the kind of Muslim my family is. Myself, I’m not really that religious at all. We grew up in small towns in Ontario, Canada.

At that time in the 70s, there were no people of color. All white, all Catholic in these small towns, and then here comes Meltem Ozdemir and her Turkish family. The kids were ruthless and mean. I had no friends, I was bullied, and people would beat me up after school pretty systematically, all the time. I turned to food to help me feel better, which didn’t really help my popularity at all. I hated being Turkish. I blamed it on being Turkish. I blamed all the suffering on being Turkish. I hated being different. I was mad at my parents for being Turkish. 

I remember we were in one small town, and then we moved to another small town. But between these two small towns, we moved to the city for a year. I remember moving to the city, it’s called Mississauga. It’s just outside of Toronto. I remember moving to Mississauga and for that one year, I was accepted. Because there were a lot of kids like me with different names and different skin colors. It was normal and it was okay. I had only ever known the white community. I was like, wow, there are other people like me out there. I actually had friends for a bit. 

People accepted me. I was actually kind of popular there for a year. Then we moved to the next small town. And I cried, and I cried, and it started all over again. I grew up like this right through high school. When I went off to school and got my job in business, I hated introducing myself as Meltem Ozdemir because I would always have this story. What was it again? Can you spell it? Mel what? Meltem? M-E-L-T-E-M. And what’s the last name, Ozdemir? Then no one would repeat it because they didn’t know how to repeat it. And I would spell it. Oh, where’s that from? Turkish? Oh, does it mean something? 

That was honestly, the conversation I would get every time. People were not trying to be mean. I think they’re trying to make me comfortable. But the whole thing just made me uncomfortable. I hated introducing myself because I knew that I had to spell it and explain it and tell a story about it every single time, and everyone would pronounce my name wrong. So you know what I did? I just changed my name. 

First of all, Meltem is really easy. Call me Mel. I would actually say, just call me Mel, and everyone I can see this physical relief on people’s faces when I would say, just call me Mel. So I would introduce myself as Mel all the time. I would just go, Hi, I’m Mel. And it’d be weird because I wouldn’t say my last name. And people would like it, which is not normal when you’re introducing yourself for the first time, but I would just say, Hi, my name is Mel. 

Then I married my first husband and his last name was Savage. So I took it right away. Mel Savage, perfect. Perfect white name, white enough that I didn’t have to explain myself anymore; white enough that people just automatically took me in. No more Meltem Ozdemir and no more distractions every time I met someone. Then when I divorced my husband, and now I’m with my second. I call him husband but we’re actually not married. We’ve just been living together for 20 years. I kept the name Savage. I’m still Mel Savage.

I joke that I’m like Tina Turner. I earned it. I earned this last name, so I’m keeping it. It’s not a funny joke. I’m Not like Tina Turner, okay. But I just try to. This is the way I explain it to people so that it’s not a distraction. It’s not my name, but I’m keeping it. It’s my ex-husband’s name, but I’m keeping it. I was so desperate to be fully white, because of my experience as a child and how I was ostracized for not being fully white even though I looked white. I was so desperate to be fully white. I want it to be accepted so much, that I changed my name in an explainable way. That is my truth, my friends. 

At this point, I don’t know what to do about that. I really don’t know. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I’ve been Mel Savage for over half my life. I don’t feel like it makes sense to change now. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’m afraid to change it now. I wanted to share that with you because I want to be honest with you. This is what racism did to me. I don’t want to say it did it to me, I hesitate. This is what I did, based on my experience with racism, is probably a better way to say it. And I wanted to share that with you. 

I want to be vulnerable with you because I want you to know that it’s okay to be honest with yourself. The worst thing that’s going to happen to you as a white person is a feeling. The worst thing that’s going to happen to you is a feeling. You’re going to feel uncomfortable, you’re going to feel pain, you’re going to feel anger. These are very uncomfortable feelings, but they’re just feelings. And you can feel that feeling. Because if you don’t open yourself up to feeling that feeling, the worst thing that’s going to happen to someone else is more than just a feeling. 

So one of the things that I do when I’m journaling, or when I’m thinking about this topic, when I’m watching a documentary, when I’m reading the book, because like I said, I’ve got a day job, and this isn’t on my mind all the time but it’s something that I want to keep top of mind right now. So when I’m exploring these things, the empowering question that I ask myself and that I want to offer to you is – What are you doing today to keep your eyes open? 

It doesn’t matter how small the thing that you’re doing is, it doesn’t matter how small the step is, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what the next step is, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know how far you’re going to take it. What are you doing today to keep your eyes open? That’s it. Ask yourself that question and then answer it. 

That’s what I have for you this week, my friends. I’ll talk to you next week.



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I have 20+ years working as a leader in the corporate world. I know what you need to do. And I combine that with four years of training as a cognitive behavioral coach. I know how to help you naturally think like the leader you want to be.

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Mel Savage

I have 20+ years working as a leader in the corporate world. I know what you need to do. And I combine that with four years of training as a cognitive behavioral coach. I know how to help you naturally think like the leader you want to be.
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